


And in the end...

by milka121



Series: Ian's Story [3]
Category: Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Alternative anime finale, Anime Logic, Attempt at Humor, Bad Pranks, Calling ToZX on its bullshit, Implied sormik, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-25 00:18:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10752768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milka121/pseuds/milka121
Summary: Alternative anime finale, with Ian. And bad jokes.





	And in the end...

**Author's Note:**

> And in the end... plot doesn't even matter - ToZX, probably  
> Also, just to clarify: this fic was written before I watched the final episode.  
> Thanks for my beta, Mai! <3

That was it.

Sorey exhaled slowly, getting accustomed to the new feeling of armatization with all of the seraphim. He contemplated this new sensation, this new power rushing through his veins; he could vaguely tell every seraphim apart. But at that moment, it seemed as if they have become one being, fused together in the ultimate display of the Shepherd’s power.

Sorey felt as if he was almost omnipotent.

Which, by the way, could actually be true. Up to this point, he hadn’t felt like anything could _really_ thwart his plans. And before, he hadn’t even needed to armatize with all of the seraphim. Or armatize at all.

Anyway, that was the final battle. Good versus Evil. Shepherd versus the Lord of Calamity.

Well, technically it was more like: Shepherd fused with every seraphim, accompanied by his two human friends who would probably do nothing because they didn’t have anyone to armatize with, versus the Lord of Calamity... But that were just details. Not so important.

What was important, though, was that Sorey was supposed to kick Heldalf’s ass right now in the name of world peace and harmony. Something like that.

So, Sorey stood in his super intimidating pose for a few more seconds (the impression is also significant, right?), and darted forward, screaming from the top of his lungs and swinging his sword at the Lord of Calamity...

“Waaaait!”

Sorey’s head snapped in the direction of the voice; he tripped on his new, insanely long, white cape, fought desperately to keep his balance alongside with _all of the seraphim screaming in his head to get it together_ , and majestically fell on his face.

(A few steps before Heldalf, but Sorey didn’t actually worry about that. The Lord of Calamity had proven to be quite nice, after all, waiting patiently for Sorey to snap out from the flashback and allowing Zavied to make a pact with Sorey. Sorey was almost starting to like him.)

Still screaming, Ian emerged from the shadows, thrashing her hands around her.

Everyone’s eyes turned at the girl and regarded her with different levels of uttermost disbelief.

“You forgot your winter clothes!” Ian screamed.

Everyone froze and stared wide-eyed at the woman.

“What?” Rose’s weak voice echoed in the cave.

“Clothes,” Ian repeated, frowning and pointing at the bag on her back. “Why did you leave without them? Why did everyone _let you_ leave without them? We are practically at the north pole! I don’t care how much power y’all have – you need to wear proper clothes in that kind of weather, or you will get a cold! Or a flu! Or pneumonia!”

She shook her head and run up to Alisha and Rose.

“Here you are,” Ian said, looking very satisfied as she gave the coats to the both of confused girls. “Keep them on!”

“Um, I don’t know if you have noticed,” Rose dared to speak up, “but we are in the middle of a volcano.”

“Doesn’t matter. It’s winter.”

Rose looked like she wanted to argue with that kind of logic, but gave up somewhere halfway.

Ian turned around and send Sorey a glare.

“Sorey!”

The Shepherd blinked and finally decided to get up. “What?”

“You are irresponsible!”

“Well. Uh.” He scratched his head. “I’m sorry.”

“You’d better be! We _bought_ these things, you know! It’s a gift from Hyland! This situation is already a political nightmare and you are making it even worse  by disregarding these presents from the royalty!”

“Um,” Alisha interrupted, “may I ask what is going on?”

“Oh, you know. Nothing unusual.” Ian rolled her eyes. “That old rumor about you eloping with the Shepherd and betraying the country. And endangering your life. _And_ leaving in charge of Hyland [ someone with quite questionable motives ](http://aselia.wikia.com/wiki/Maltran).”

“...Oh.” Alisha blinked sheepishly.

“Wait, why would she elope with me?” asked Sorey. “I mean, if Alisha really did elope, she would do it with Rose.”

Ian shrugged. “You know how it is. Some heteronormative shit, probably.”

“Oh,” said everyone. That is, everyone but Heldalf, because the Lord of Calamity was speechless.[ And he literally couldn’t speak for some reason ](https://youtu.be/S-2zuzA8L-E?t=17m48s).

“But, wait.” Rose’s knitted her brows. “How did you get here? This whole place is filled with malevolence! And the dragons are everywhere!”

“You mean that weird mist?” Ian asked. “And dragons… I haven’t seen any dragons. But I have seen some weird dogs, though.”

“Dogs?”

“Maybe that’s a side effect of having a lower resonance,” Lailah wondered. “She perceived hellions in her own way… But she _did_ notice malevolence anyway.”

Rose twitched. “Ian?”

“Mmm?”

“What did you do to that… dogs?”

“I beat them up.”

“WHAT?!”

“Okay, so let’s get this cleared up,” Zavied started. “She _beat up_ _hellions_ without using the power of purification?! By _her own_?!”

“Well, they had to be hellions. This place is swarming with malevolence,” Lailah said, a hint of amusement in her voice. “Being able to fight them is… pretty impressive for someone who does not have enough resonance to perceive even seraphim.”

“Wow,” Mikleo murmured.

“Indeed,” affirmed Lailah. “That’s quite… extraordinary. Sorey, do you think you could maybe make her your third squire?”

“But wouldn’t it put some extra pressure on me or something?”

“No… Why would you think something like that?”

“Well, _you_ said that.”

Lailah got quiet for a second. “I did?”

Sorey nodded. Mikleo would nod too, if he could. But he couldn’t. Because he was armatized with Sorey, alongside with Lailah (who was now wondering whether she really did say that), Zavied (filled with amazement) and Edna (snickering somewhere in the back of his mind), and, oh, Sorey was starting to get dizzy because of all of that seraphim simultaneously thinking about their own affairs.

“Lailah?” Sorey said, his voice suddenly shaking a little, “Can we release armatus for a second? I don’t feel so good.”

Mikleo panicked, Edna sneered, Zavied choked up a laugh and Lailah nodded.

Sorey sighed in relief when they finally left his mind.

“Sorey!” Mikleo screamed and held Sorey when the boy nearly lost his balance. Ian, with a serious face, tied a scarf around the Shepherd’s neck.

“See what running around in winter without a proper clothing does to you?” she scolded him.

“No, I’m alright,” Sorey opposed weakly, “I still need to fight-”

“Hey, sir,” Ian turned to face Heldalf, “would you mind if we stop this fight for a second? My friend here would like to have a little break, if that's okay with you.”

Heldalf didn’t oppose. Partially because he couldn’t speak, but let’s give him a little bit more credit than just that. He was a good Kittybeard, after all.

Sorey frowned. “No, I really need to-”

“You are _not_ in the condition to fight the Lord of Calamity,” Mikleo interrupted him, his voice hard like steel. “You are barely standing!”

“Looks like armatizing with all of us simultaneously was not such a good idea. Who would have thought?” Edna rolled her eyes. “And now, we have a Shepherd who can’t even fight.”

Sorey made a weak sound of disagreement, but everyone ignored him.

“So anyway, we are fucked,” Rose concluded.

Lailah twitched.

“Not necessarily,” she said. “We still have two squires and a person with an extraordinary talent.” Her eyes dozed off in Ian direction. “Sorey, do you think your domain is strong enough to let me talk to her?”

Sorey’s blank stare was enough of an answer.

“Oh my god,” Rose murmured. She cleared her throat. “Ian!”

“What?”

“Would you like to become a squire?”

“Well, _duh_ ,” Ian responded. “Superpowers? Ability to see the Shepherd’s legendary hot boyfriend? I’m in.”

“You may die, though.”

“We may die anyway. I don’t know what you think, but for me sitting in the middle of the volcano is top on the list of potentially mortal dangers.” She beamed.

Rose licked her lips. “So, uh, you need to – hey, Sorey, don’t fall asleep! – you need to form a pact with Sorey. He will give you your true name in the ancient language and – Mikleo, wake him up, please – and then you will be able to armatize, meaning, eh, _fuse_ with the seraphim.”

“Cool,” Ian said. “And then we kick that gentleman’s ass?”

“Yes, we kick that gentleman’s ass,” Rose agreed.

“Seems simple,” Ian said, nodding with approval.

Rose smiled. “Well, then. Lailah?”

The seraph woman nodded. She watched as Rose guided Ian to stand just next to her, and tried not to look at Mikleo literally dragging Sorey as far from Heldalf as it was possible and murmuring something into Sorey's ear.

Sorey looked almost awake when he finally stood up before Lailah.

Ian beamed. “Sorey? Shall we begin?”

Sorey mumbled something in response.

“Just give her a true name,” Lailah said with an expression she hoped didn’t reveal how much in panic she was. After all, the Shepherd was close to passing out (again) right in front of the Lord of Calamity’s eyes, leaving them almost defenseless. Ian showed a promise of possibility to become their trump card, but she as well could turn out to be only average.

And they could not afford for her to be only average.

Oh, it would have been so much easier if they hadn’t forgotten to bring the normin with them. But, well...

“Ian, grab Sorey by his hand,” Rose instructed.

Ian obeyed and without hesitation and gripped the Shepherd’s hand. Sorey didn’t react. Ian’s nose wrinkled and after a few seconds, she said: “Well, this is awkward.” And added: “No hetero, tho.”

“Sorey, please, give her a name.” Lailah licked her lips. “Just… say something in the ancient tongue. Anything.”

Sorey’s eyes followed the movement of her lips, but his gaze was hazy, and his mouth hung open, adding even more to the impression of a total incomprehension.

Mikleo pursed his lips and slapped Sorey across the face.

Sorey blinked sheepishly and, slowly, lifted a hand to his cheek, knitting his brows as if trying to understand what has just happened.

“Give Ian a true name,” Mikleo said, loud and clear, gesticulating towards the girl. Sorey’s eyes followed Mikleo’s hand and Sorey squinted, seemingly trying to focus.

Sorey murmured something. Rose tilted her head.

“What was that?”

Lailah’s brows rose up and her mouth curved into a small smile.

“Ian the random,” she said.

Sorey lost consciousness.

“Um, that’s that?” Ian asked.

“That’s that,” Lailah confirmed.

“Well, that was easy,” Ian said, quickly pulling her hand away from Sorey, upon noticing Mikleo’s glare. Ian beamed. “By the way, hello, Mikleo. Hello, everyone.”

The murmur of the seraphim’s voices spread out in the cave as they quickly introduced themselves. Ian watched them with a glee sparkling in her eyes, listening with a genuine interest.

Maybe making her a squire was not such a bad decision, after all.

“So, anyway!” Lailah clasped her hands together. “Ian, I think you can try to armatize now.”

“With all of you?”

“No!” Mikleo and Lailah said simultaneously.

“No,” Mikleo repeated. “I need to stay and guard Sorey. I can’t let you put him in danger while you will be fighting.” He frowned. “And besides, only Sorey can armatize with me.”

“Okay, okay,” Ian said, sending Mikleo a reassuring smile. “I’m not going to try to separate you from your lover.”

Mikleo flushed red.

“What-”

“Okay, Meebo, it’s not a time to bicker about it,” Edna cut him off. “Go drag your _lover_ to the corner and try not to be too much of a burden while we kick ass.”

“He’s not-”

“Mikleo,” Lailah said with a scold in her voice. “We really don’t have any more time to waste now. There is only so much we can expect the Lord of Calamity to wait.” She nodded in the direction of Heldalf.

He didn’t nod back. He wasn’t really a sociable guy.

“So,” Ian asked, “what do I need to do?”

“Just say a true name of one of the seraphim,” Lailah answered, smiling softly. “I think I would be the best candidate – I’m a Prime Lord, which means that I have the most experience of working with the Shepherds and Squires. I was Sorey’s first, too.”

Edna smirked. “I was pretty sure that Mikleo was Sorey’s first.”

Zavied chuckled. Lailah tried her best to restrain a smile from appearing on her face.

“Edna, could you _please_ refrain yourself from talking about the Shepherd’s sex life in front of everyone?”

Edna snorted. “It’s not like that’s so big of a secret. I bet that everyone here already knew.”

“Well, the Lord of Calamity didn’t.”

“Well, now he knows. No need to thank me, Kittybeard.”

“ _Anyway_ ,” Lailah continued, “just say my true name and you will armatize. It’s Fethmus Mioma.”

“Uh, should you be speaking about it out loud? I mean, the 'true names' sound like they are supposed to be a big deal, don’t they?”

“Oh, no problem,” Lailah brushed it off. “Sorey already did scream it out, so I don’t think there is a need for us to be discreet.”

“Oh. Okay,” Ian said. “Fethmus Mioma.”

In a blink of an eye, they were armatized and ready to go.

In another second, Ian struck Heldalf and plunged a sword under his ribs, twisted it, and cut the Lord of Calamity in half.

Ian remained standing where she was and looked at the body at her feet. She poked it with the sword. But the corpse – it was pretty safe to assume that it was a corpse now – didn’t move.

“That’s it?” Ian asked. “No secret loopholes? He’s not going to stand up and, and get resurrected or something?”

Lailah swallowed. “Well,” she said, “it looks like you… did a pretty… I mean...”

“I mean, I just thought that would be harder or something, after all your talk about malevolence and stuff,” Ian murmured. “I dunno.”

They released their armatus. Lailah delicately put a hand on Ian’s shoulder.

“Ian, if you want to talk to me about it… That is, if you feel conflicted about killing, I am-”

“Lady Lailah,” Ian interrupted her, “you do realize that I am a soldier, right? I have killed people before. I don’t need emotional support. That guy was bad, so I had to kill him. I’m not going to apologize for that.”

Rose sighed with relief. “ _Finally_ ,” she said. “Can you please repeat this to Sorey when he wakes up? We need to teach him a lesson about the morality of killing. He’s still stuck in that ‘killing is ALWAYS bad’ phase. He even did tell Heldalf he was going to purify him!”

“He did?” Ian blinked. “Oh. Too bad that he didn't have a chance to do so, then.”

“Well, that’s his fault,” Edna snickered. “It was his idea to try to armatize with _all of us_. He should have known that it’s ridiculous to even try something like that.”

“Point taken,” Lailah nodded. “But we still have one more issue to take care of.” She gestured towards the white dragon lazily flopping it’s wings in the midair.

“Oh, Maotelus,” Zavied said. “Fancy meeting you here. How’s going?”

“ _It could be better_ ,” came the response. “ _Would you happen to have a desire to help me get rid of all that malevolence tainting me?_ ”

“Sure thing!” Ian responded. “What can we do for you?”

“ _I_ _n order to clench all of the malevolence flowing in me and this land, the Shepherd would need to go to sleep and act as my vessel, purifying the world during the years and decades_ -”

“No way,” Mikleo said.

“ _-and in response, I will make sure that he wakes up as a one of the seraphim._ ”

Mikleo gaped. “That… actually doesn’t sound so bad.”

“So, deal,” Ian nodded.

Mikleo’s brows knitted. “Wait, we are not waiting for Sorey to wake up?”

“Yes, shouldn’t he be given a chance to choose his own fate?” Alisha added.

Ian looked at Rose. Ian looked at Lailah and Edna. And, finally, Ian looked Mikleo in the eye.

The recognition passed between them and everyone smirked.

“Nah,” they said simultaneously.

“Think of it as the best prank anyone has ever pulled,” Rose said, winking at Alisha. “Oh my god, he will be _so_ pissed when he wakes up.”

“Agreed,” Edna smirked. “The centuries of waiting will be totally worth it.”

Lailah clasped her hands together and chuckled. “Okay, then! Let’s make Sorey a _Sleepard_.”

Ian made a sound as if she was choking.

“Get it? Like, sleeping Shepherd? _Sleepard_?”

“Yes, we get it, Lailah,” Rose said, looking like she was fighting off a face spasm. “It’s… so bad it’s almost good. Oh my god, Mikleo, you _must_ put it in your books. I’m not letting it slip away.”

“I’m not planning to, either,” he smiled. “Sorey will surely _love_ this sobriquet after he wakes up from his beauty sleep.”

Everyone laughed.

Everyone but Sorey. He wouldn’t laugh a long time after that. But, ask anyone in that room – it was definitely worth it.

Even if they needed to wait for Sorey to laugh at it with them.

**Author's Note:**

> And that's how the party pulled the best prank ever.  
> Let's face it, that plot is still probably better than the actual anime will be... For better or worse.


End file.
